Monday, August 25, 2008

The Bad & The Ugly: True Dating Stories

Wow- Saturday night I was stood up! STOOD UP!

Well, kind of...

We were supposed to firm-up plans Friday afternoon for Saturday and I never heard from the guy. Which ended up being okay since I had a friend from Texas who called Saturday morning as she was driving into town last-minute; she and her father were able to stay at my house that night instead. So, I've rationalized the situation since our date wouldn't have worked out anyway, BUT it doesn't change the fact that he never even called. Sheesh!

So, in lieu of getting stood up, I thought I'd share some of my Bad...and even Ugly, Dating Stories:

1) R*** was a blind date set-up from a quasi-friend. Most people would have turned to run at this point...I "shoulda, coulda, woulda" in restrospect.

Although R*** was a complete gentleman the entire date, there were a few dealbreaking moves he made along the way. First of all, he arrives to pick me up and is wearing cargo shorts, a Led Zeppelin t-shirt layered with an untucked, wrinkled button down. That wasn't the worst though...on his feet, he's wearing socks with CROCS. Yep, those nasty, awful shoes. And he shows up for a first date in them. Sharp!

As we're driving to dinner, I find out that he's younger than my little brother (ewwww icky! my quasi-friend has now been demoted to not-a-friend-at-all) and oh he still lives at home with his parents since he decided to drop out of school.

R*** was a nice enough guy, but a little odd, to say the least. As a hobby, he re-enacts, and dresses in Medieval attire. He paid for dinner, took me home, I thanked him for nice company, he was gentlemanly but this wasn't going anywhere ever. He took the news graciously. It wasn't a bad date due to the events. It was just a bad date because it was a horrible set-up.

The cherry on top was that my quasi-friend later disclosed that R*** actually prefers to dress as a woman while re-enacting in Medieval attire. WEIRD And yes, my quasi-friend has officially proven herself to be not-a-friend-at-all. Who would do this to a friend?

2) Knight in Shining Armor has already been mentioned in this blog, but he was also a blind-date setup. Thank goodness this blind-date was a double date with a close friend and her boyfriend.

What I learned of Knight in Shining Armor prior to the date was that on-paper he appeared to have everything in his life together and on-track. He took several leadership positions, had post-graduate degrees and was successfully climbing the career ladder. He was involved in his church and had a good group of friends. Well, maybe he was talked-up a little too much because when I met him, nothing clicked in-person at all.

On this Bad Date, I was to blame for clamming up. Knight in Shining Armor was a mellow sort of guy, laid back and the type that seems comfortable never opening his mouth. Just made me feel awkward in addition to my friend overcompensating and talking a little too much. We had a ridiculously long and painful date of 4 hours of not talking to each all.

3) Although these first 2 were blind dates, I've made some bad dating choices on my own too! The Fall after graduation, I started dating Atlanta Stockbroker. He was a little older (~35), very career-driven, and had appeared to be interested in investing quality dating time.

Or so I thought.

It was something like our fourth or fifth date, and he was scheduled to drive in town so we could then travel to a football game. Atlanta Stockbroker actually was a bigger fan of my Alma Mater's football team than I was (although this is not difficult to do...reference this post). I was excited. My company had given me the tickets in a great section and it would also be my first visit back since graduation.

The morning of the game Atlanta Stockbroker calls and recounts a sad story of how the day before he'd had his haircut. Evidently said haircut was horribly embarassing and he was ashamed of how he looked. He asked for me to find him a good school-spirit baseball cap before he got in town. I searched the town over looking for the perfect hat and was proud to find just the right one after only visiting 3 different stores.

I called him back to relay the news and he said he hadn't left Atlanta yet, but that he would soon. I wasn't worried and even offered to drive my car once he arrived in town since he sounded tired. He seemed okay with idea this even though he had originally wanted to tout his crimson convertible Corvette (specifically painted to display his school-spirit...he was hardcore). So I made sure my car was spotless, filled-up and even packed little pre-Game snacks and drinks for our roadtrip.

It's 1 hrs to Game Time and then he was a no-show. Atlanta Stockbroker stood me up too. And his excuses changed ranging from: "I have a cold" to..."I was recently diagnosed with skin cancer and the stress has kept me from sleeping" to..."Work has just been so tough on me lately, I really have to catch up on some things."

I decided right then and there that he was just full of excuses and I didn't have to accept any of them. Especially when they all seem to morph into something different each time he's asked.

Interestingly enough, Atlanta Stockbroker still calls and texts me at the most random times. We first dated back in 2004, but I heard from him again in 2006 and then most recently he called me earlier this year and then sent me text messages 1 week ago. I've decided he must keep some sort of Database and he rotates his calls/text messages in some sort of 2-yr cycle in hopes that one of his old dates or exes will take him back.

He's Good at being sketchy... Bad at keeping commitments...and just plain Ugly to think he can still have a chance!

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