After being a single, pregnant mom I gained an entirely new respect and appreciation for the decision my birthmother made to continue with her pregnancy and place me up for adoption. It would have been an extraordinarily heart-wrenching decision to make. And, as she was at the tender age of 15 (she was 16 when I was born), she knew her life was drastically changed forever whatever decisions she made.
I'm so thankful she had a healthy pregnancy. So very fortunate she didn't decide to abort. And even more thankful that she was responsible enough to realize she couldn't take care of a child at that point in her life.
This past Saturday my biological half-brother found me Online and I was connected/reconnected with my birthmother for the first time. I was able to correspond a little via e-mail; although I had house guests and a laundry list of scheduled events/tasks so we were limited on contact.
I was very excited to see current pictures of her and my two half-siblings (a 21-yr-old brother and 19-yr-old sister). My birthmother is GORGEOUS (yay for me!).
Without going into too much detail, but to give some history and background:
- I was adopted when I was TWO days old. So no, I don't speak another language, nor was I brought up in Laotian tradition/culture.
- Circa 5th grade, I had a tough time coming to terms with abandonment and rejection issues. There were identity questions which I overcame that school year, but I can still recognize those insecurities resurfacing at different points in life.
- I do want to add that all five of our clan (me and my adopted siblings) are extremely close and a well-adapted family. And while every family is dysfunctional, ours is blessed in that we are tight and close in communication and openness despite not being biological. So basically, NO we aren't weird/different/odd just because we're adopted.
It is such an amazing thing my birthmother didn't abort me. In the Lao-Buddhist culture, girls often think nothing of aborting an unwanted child. And while I don't know specifics yet, I wouldn't be surprised if her pregnancy was also a result of an unwanted liason (yep, the frightening R), yet another reason to appreciate her decisions.