Seventy-Seven

A Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

1. Found out that Amanda R. was kicked off of The Bachelor... Sad day indeed!
2. My National Director & the Company VP decided to nominate me for The Bachelor; but Mom disapproves =(
3. I attempted to reconcile my could-be-perceived-as-witchy-muteness with an e-mail to Knight in Shining Armor, but have still not received a response. I believe this may have done more harm than good. TO NOTE: this was only decided after much deliberation and ultimate approval from two unbiased parties- one male, one female (well, I suppose they were a little biased since they're my friends!)
4. Work travel keeps me from having friends/social calendar/commitments/a life, during the week.
5. After an awful dinner experience, realized I've held a grudge against my brother for quite some time. And I rarely enjoy myself around him; everything he does/says makes me cringe. I need to fully forgive and let go...

__________________________

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"
Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."

Matthew 18:21-22

We Be Pimpin'

Saturday night, my brother's fiance Mary and I were sipping a caramel machiatto latte and an Earl Grey tea (with honey of course!) at our ever-favorite-Starbucks.
After sharing my Tales O' Dating she said, "Mandy, you need a PIMP CUP."

How great is she? Seriously? A pimp cup?

So with that, at 11pm on a Saturday night, we take a trip to WalMart, buy some pimpin' pink tiaras, drop some $ on our craft project, and indulge in some Warm Delights brownies. This is how we ROLL!

It was just good ole fashioned goofball fun. Blasted some old school rap music, spoke a little eubonics, bling-ed out our pimpette cups, and were just silly girls. Gosh, I love M'ish!

Things I Learned From PIMPETTE NIGHT:

1. Warm Delights Brownies only take water & a microwave...they're really friggin' good
2. Pimpin' ain't easy
3. I'm super-excited that Pink Pimpette's my future sis-in-law!

Boot Scootin' Boogie

TO DO LIST:

□ figure out how to transport new furniture...darn my tiny Mustang
□ volunteer AND actually commit to showing up
□ find tanning salon for base tan prior to Memorial Day...not gonna burn and peel this year!
□ practice talking to smokin' hot guys (totally flopped earlier this week)
√ get BOOTS to pay homage to Texas roots

Boots in reference-they're HOT

Makes me wanna country linedance.

Makes me wanna rope a Cowboy...

The Dating Record

A Record-Breaking April

1. Increased my running to around 3.5/4 miles a day, 5 times a week


2. Joined a gym to reap the benefits of cardio machines, weight training, a steamless sauna, and increased social interaction (otherwise I'm turning into a hermit)


3. Upped my Dating Ante

Yes, that's right- I've bundled my dates to see how many I can fit into two weeks. It's kind of been fun actually as I have resolved to look at Dating as a Game (see below post) and want to simply enjoy myself in diverse company (I'm an equal opportunity Dater).

Here are my WOEs and WHOAS of the past two weeks (well, technically it's only been 1 1/2 weeks, and the end of week #2 is not up, but I've decided to lay low this weekend):

• Sunday Movie: with Sick Manchild was relatively decent company filled with jabs of sarcasm and dry-witted humor... a great movie picked... albeit, a 15-yr old boy trapped in a 33-yr old body...we get along great, but three major things may be deal breakers: 1. no filter on that vulgar mouth of his // 2. his career decisions (or rather indecisions) are questionable as he's chosen a 30-hr job where his co-workers are still in high school // 3. he got me sick from the cold he had (no not from kissing, but he was coughing) and I haven't been sick in FOUR years

• Wednesday Dinner at Sports Grille: was casual with Super Fan in a familial sort of way...I was pretty comfortable conversing, but most likely it was because I looked at him like a kid brother...his smaller, pre-pubescent stature and the way he carried himself made me feel quite giant-like both metaphorically and physically...nice kid guy though

• Tuesday Southside Dinner: was a blind date set-up from a Dear Friend...I did the requisite Googling / Facebook & MySpace investigating prior to see what this guy's all about...Knight in Shining Armor's Online resume looks great, actually scratch that-he looks PERFECT...so this date should be equally perfect, right?...sure, it might have been if I hadn't clammed up!...a 4-hour long double-date dinner with my aforementioned dear friend and I maybe said 6 words total...he must think I'm either the biggest snob OR the shyest girl ever (both UNTRUE), but I couldn't talk to him...he was too hot...and too perfect...and had all his priorities: God/family/life/career in order (well, at least on paper)...totally fudged this one up and according to dear friend, we "didn't click"

• Wednesday Sushi Dinner in Atlanta: an unexpected dinner after Tuesday night's flop...received a call from Sick Manchild that he was traveling through town and I happened to already be in on business...needed respite from the last night's mess...at least we hit it off with our verbal spars and sarcastic jabs...still no filter on that mouth of his and he talks loudly in restaurants too

But my "date" tonight was a reconnect with a Friend who helped remind me that if I should become impatient in dating, God always provides. Sometimes we just seek the wrong thing.

So dating's not really a game to be played...it's a part of life and life is an ADVENTURE

Happy Earth Day!

"We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children."

Celebrate the beauty of nature. Protect our world that we live in. Enjoy!

...and then go eat a tree and plant a cupcake.

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

It is GORGEOUS today!

My brother Sean and I went to the Driving Range and split a bucket of balls.

And there I was in a skirt, flip-flops, and a borrowed hat. Hitting the air more than the ball, and trying to sneek a peak at the other golfers to watch how to swing correctly. My sweet brother's instruction did little to help.

We both stunk at it, but boy was it FUN!

So GOLF is not my game, but sometimes it's just fun to get out there on a beautiful day and golf goof around.

Television Dating Game

The Bachelor: London Calling

Isn't he dashing? In that Prince Charming-gonna-play-your-heart-like-a-fiddle sort of way. I used to hate The Bachelor, but since all these Primetime shows are readily available on the Internet, I have a plethora of trash TV to watch at my convenience. We're down to the "Hometown Dates" portion...only four women remain.

Amanda R.

My "pick" to win is Amanda R. Not only does she have a great first name, but she has a gentle but strong spirit, a sweet and sassy humor, is gorgeous without being pretentious, and the funniest "human" side to her is her MEEPS. Poor Amanda R. has chronic hiccups when she gets nervous!

More on Real Life Dating to Come...

The Dating Game

With our current economic climate, I've been focusing a great deal on strategy for 2008. Deliberate choices made to result in specific outcomes; all designed to come full-circle with a desired WIN. So I've brushed up on my old readings of Machiavelli's "The Prince" and read Cliff's Notes for Sun Tzu's "The Art of War" (what? it's a tough read!).

So since my day-to-day work dictates a focus on business development in a competitive climate, it only made sense for me to apply this same thought to my personal dating life. After reflection, Game Theory has never been so prevalent in DATING as it is now.

With an ever shrinking pool of available prospects (as there is now a War for Talent with the mass exodus of Baby Boomers, we have a much smaller generation with less of a selection than our parents faced), combined with the widespread use of the Internet--- Houston, we have a problem. So in Layman's terms: there are fewer single, available marriage prospects out there in addition to much more aggressive competition with the availability of the Internet.

Enter Game Theory:

Whether we'll admit or not, DATING (defined: the active search of a potential mate), has become a GAME. Competition exists because there are multiple other single, available, people out there searching for the same exact thing: a viable, prospective partner. This elusive "other" is in High Demand.

There is also another phenomenon that my friend Tiger calls "The Perfect Match" (inserting a facetious smirk) where seemingly less-than-attractive females quickly pair up with disproportionately more attractive (aka hot) males. Using Game Theory, this Slate article does a humorous job of explaining "The Eligible Bachelor Paradox." To finitely sum up the article:


Where have all the most appealing men gone? Married young, most of them—and sometimes to women whose most salient characteristic was not their beauty, or passion, or intellect, but their decisiveness.

Don't you like how this is explained scientifically; and if you really wanted to get in-depth, there are mathematical equations (certainly not my strength) to back-up these theories. Of course, you could do what I did and just learn these things from watching The Bachelor! For every one desirable bachelor, there are 25 desirable bachelorettes competing for the heart of the singular Bachelor...

Check back for more to come on The Dating Game...

Render unto Caesar

Tomorrow is TAX DAY

(insert Jaws theme music)

How late did you wait?

After much delay, I stayed up until 4am Saturday night/Sunday morning getting those silly Tax Forms completed and filed. I must put in a plug for Turbo Tax, which insanely made my preparation easier:

It's always a relief after they're filed!

TAXES: yet another reason why even those who "don't care about politics" should take an interest in this voting year!

_____________________
"Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's." Matthew 22:21

Party in the city where the heat is on...

One of my new favorite places to travel for business

...All Night on the Beach 'Til the Break of Dawn

Caveats:

• You have to be prepared for the Geriatric Conventions filled with octogenarian couples migrated from New York/New Jersey...you can hear them from 5 miles away: "Louise! I just saw Bobby at the Beach Club the other day and he said that Myrtle and Rose and Gloria are..." Also, sometimes driving around them is a little scary. Sometimes walking around them is a little scary. But they crack me up!
  
• There's the wrinkled, old souls and there are also the hard-bodied youth (sometimes Botox-induced). Sometimes you might see a little more than you want to see...hey it's Miami! Just be prepared to shield your child's eyes if you go to the top-optional section of South Beach.

___________________

Good Things:

• Scenery & just the Ocean in general


• South Beach / Boca Raton / West Palm / Deerfield Beach


• Melting Pot...it's an international port


• Culture


• COLORS


• Cuban Food

Settling for Mr. Good Enough?

"Marry Him!", Lori Gottlieb's article in The Atlantic recently stirred up quite a mess in the Singlehood domain. A BIG MESS. Gottlieb's article denotes that she's a woman who wanted a "traditional family", but turned to a sperm bank in order to begin her motherhood solo (her clock was ticking, her eggs wanted to hatch). Yet in light of that decision, in retrospect she argues:


"My advice is this: Settle! That’s right. Don’t worry about passion or intense connection... Because if you want to have the infrastructure in place to have a family, settling is the way to go. Based on my observations, in fact, settling will probably make you happier in the long run, since many of those who marry with great expectations become more disillusioned with each passing year."


What would make a single, empowered, self-sufficient, independent, woman suddenly wake up one day and realize that years ago she should have settled for the first guy that could have been a marriage prospect. Mid-life crisis? Single-parent crisis? Self-actualization crisis?

Seriously, are you kidding me? This is DESPERATION in the worst way.


Anyone...
who has witnessed or experienced the loss and hurt of divorce,
who has watched a loved one suddenly decide they've changed their sexual orientation,
who has undergone the pain and grief of infidelity,
who has come to the realization to find their spouse is a deadbeat addict / pervert / abuser / etc.
...would probably attest to it being a VERY BAD idea to settle.


All those little warning signs that pop up during dating...especially with a woman's intuition...are there to help protect your heart! Now, not that there aren't those girls out there who share the ‘George Costanza / Jerry Seinfeld-ian Complex’ of picking out the most random, petty attributes as "dealbreakers," but let's get real: if you know that ultimately you're settling for something that will only make you temporarily happy (and quite possibly miserable for decades to come), why in the world would you set yourself up for failure. You ultimately will still NEVER have control over your spouse's decisions. We have free will...all of us (especially in this "liberty and freedom for all country"). Statistically, the divorce rate is so high, if you choose to settle, your chances of a marriage-gone-really-bad would only greatly increase if you actively choose to settle for the wrong guy from the beginning.

C'mon! And to bring a child into that? That egocentric desperation is atrocious!

Perhaps Gottlieb has woken up to the nightmare she's created for herself. In going out on her own, creating a child from a Petri dish in order to fulfill a dream of having a family, she's realized that her non-traditional method has inhibited her from living life to the full. For herself, and for her fatherless child. Really? Don't purposefully procreate to try and solve the big mess known as your Life. Please don't. You only bring a child into this world that will ultimately be just as confused, and probably even more so than you are. And just because Gottlieb settled on a sperm bank in order to hatch an egg, she shouldn't be suggesting to others that they should settle in marriage because she regrets not settling earlier.

What a cyclical settling mess!

...and in the end, she's got Egg on her Face!

___________________

"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires" Song of Songs 2:7b / 3:5b / 8:4b

Hurrah for food...and GOOD FOOD at that! (Food: yet another reason why I run, reference below post)

Supper Club is this upcoming week and the ever fabulous Jamie Michele is going to be hosting. I caught word that she may be trying out her new culinary skills on us. Color me Guinea Pig!

see mandy. see mandy run. run mandy RUN!

So, I'm back into running and feeling quite ducky for 2008. Two weeks ago I started a Nike + iPod Workout Program to help track my progress; although, I've really been back at it since the beginning of the year (woo-hoo, 3 full months and counting). I rounded out the first quarter with an increase in distance and frequency. I need a good Fall race for training to help encourage me to keep it up during the hot weather to come.

You see, I have this nasty habit of being a yo-yo exerciser. Especially when it comes to running outside. It just gets so ridiculously hot and humid in this part of the country. And it gives my body another excuse to not want to run. My body tends to be creative when it comes to excuses:

*if I start running now...when am I going to be fit enough to stop working out altogether

*my calves are sore from the hills...I might not be able to walk tomorrow

*are my quads/thighs bulking up...maybe I shouldn't run today, or ever again

*the kids on that bus were pointing & laughing...I should stop now so I don't catch up to them at the stop sign

*my shorts are inching up my butt...I knew this whole running thing was a bad idea


Yet something inside me drives me harder. Go Go Go!

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body" (1 Cor. 6:19-20)

_________________

Okay, at least that verse is an encouragement to actually get out and run...

Hmmm, maybe I should rethink eating the last of those dark chocolate, mouth-watering truffles...Nahhh!

My Dating Life's a Zoo...they're all Animals!

I was thinking back over the last 5 years of my dating life. And boy, there have been many lessons learned and even mistakes repeated. For anonymity’s sake, they’ve been appropriately filed as animals (diplomatic, no…aptly named, yes). Let’s see, there was the...



GIRAFFE stuck his neck out there for a while, but poor boy- I was so intent on an engagement immediately after graduation that I gave him an ultimatum. May I point out that this was definitely a lesson learned and NOT a mistake to be repeated. It’s what a Southern girl was supposed to do anyway right? Go to college, meet a nice boy, after a couple years of a steady relationship you get engaged post-graduation, start your career, then get married (or something like that). It’s as American as baseball, apple pie, and heart disease.



DOG was just that…a dog. I learned dogs cannot always be trained, they enjoy playing around and sometimes playing the field, and they expect you to cater to their every need and constantly shower them with treats. This dog was not my best friend.



TURTLE had a tough time crawling out of his shell. Reserved, new to the world, and ultimately all-too-sheltered. I wasn’t prepared for the naivety of his first-time-in-love to be the impending doom. If the relationship has run its course, then there's absolutely no need to hold on to something that will never work out in this life or the next. I’m a sucker for punishment and of course gave in to sticking with something that lacked passion, something that would have been, well, life with a Turtle. You know the tortoise may have beaten the hare, but the turtle is still stuck somewhere back there trying to find himself. Problem is, he needs to ditch the shell.



PEACOCK appeared to be a sight for sore eyes. He strutted his stuff right, had the confidence, ambition, intelligence, and drive; it was all uber-attractive. Had it all together, right? Well, what I didn't realize is those beautiful feathers served as a trick to us unsuspecting females...they hide a lot of things. What appeared to be a life-in-order was only a front. The style, charm, and wit were only a mask for deep underlying wounds.



APE. What was I doing with an ape? Only slightly more booksmart than the peacock, but certainly with a shorter temper in a beat-his-chest for attention kind of way. This one was a lesson quickly learned.



CHAMELEON was a genius. I'm still in awe of how he could fit in under any circumstance. In fact, I'm not sure I ever really knew who he was. My guess is that he's had so much practice blending in with so many different situations that he may have lost sight of his own essence. One thing to his credit- he's a master at observing people and figuring out their needs. I'm not exactly sure why the chemistry failed, but I know lizards like to bask in the heat of the sun. I think he may have been emerging from a colder time and getting prepared for a full-out sunbathing season. For him, I'd give an award for best-behaved. Cheers to you Chameleon!

Singledom

So, we’ve started a Small Group Bible Study at my house each week. We’re all single, young professionals wanting to seek God and His plan for us at this “singlehood” point in our lives. We’re uniquely positioned at a time when we have freedom to do whatever we want…we get to choose our responsibilities…we decide how we spend our time…we have all the say in how we spend our money. Yippee!

And since I’ve started going back to church (Sidenote: yes, I’m still doing my standard Sunday Brunch…they definitely know us as “Regulars” now), it was crazy-cool that last Sunday’s sermon was on “Singlehood” and the blessings of being unattached. Yes, unattached, not detached…I get it…I’m returning to God! Our pastor talked about Paul’s letter to Corinth that addresses the gift of being single (1 Corinthians 7) and how even as Christians, we often overlook / pity / question people who are single. Jesus was single.

Of course, there are those who choose to be single and those who are single by circumstance and wish they weren’t single. I’m not really sure which one I fit into since I am still in the dating scene…I don’t feel called to stay single forever, but certainly I don’t feel called to be married at this point. Most likely because there are no viable prospects within sight…at all.

Sometimes I struggle with not really wanting to follow God’s will. Sometimes I’m downright defiant. It’s this rebellion in me...

Is this an April Fool's Joke?

Warning, this is a VENT:

Seriously, there is nothing quite like good 'ole Southern hospitality. I just got off the line with a Flower Company in Oregon that I'd never used before. They were not kind. In fact, over the course of events, the first lady told me that it was "too bad" that my expensive bouquet was undeliverable, but that they'd give me a discount on my next order. (Next order? yeah right!)


I asked what could be done to have the original order delivered.
Nothing.
Really? Is there anything a Manager could do?
Nothing, but why don't you talk to him.
Absolutely, hopefully we can get the flowers delivered.
Sure, you just try that.
(Is she really being mean to me over the phone? These flowers were even a sympathy bouquet for my friend's father's death!)

I speak to the Manager, and he has authority to re-ship the flowers. But he too, is a good bit rough in his "customer service delivery" and even cusses twice during the conversation. Wow- I do business mostly in the Southeast, but I travel quite often to Chicago, Texas, and Ohio... I always experience kindness. In fact, my old college boss went up to the University of Oregon, so I know not everyone up there is a jerk. Perhaps just the flower people. They must've had a really bad Monday to take it out on a first-time customer (or maybe this was an April Fool's joke?)

They need to move South...maybe that'll make 'em nicer.