Wednesday, April 2, 2008

My Dating Life's a Zoo...they're all Animals!

I was thinking back over the last 5 years of my dating life. And boy, there have been many lessons learned and even mistakes repeated. For anonymity’s sake, they’ve been appropriately filed as animals (diplomatic, no…aptly named, yes). Let’s see, there was the...

GIRAFFE stuck his neck out there for a while, but poor boy- I was so intent on an engagement immediately after graduation that I gave him an ultimatum. May I point out that this was definitely a lesson learned and NOT a mistake to be repeated. It’s what a Southern girl was supposed to do anyway right? Go to college, meet a nice boy, after a couple years of a steady relationship you get engaged post-graduation, start your career, then get married (or something like that). It’s as American as baseball, apple pie, and heart disease.

DOG was just that…a dog. I learned dogs cannot always be trained, they enjoy playing around and sometimes playing the field, and they expect you to cater to their every need and constantly shower them with treats. This dog was not my best friend.

TURTLE had a tough time crawling out of his shell. Reserved, new to the world, and ultimately all-too-sheltered. I wasn’t prepared for the naivety of his first-time-in-love to be the impending doom. If the relationship has run its course, then there's absolutely no need to hold on to something that will never work out in this life or the next. I’m a sucker for punishment and of course gave in to sticking with something that lacked passion, something that would have been, well, life with a Turtle. You know the tortoise may have beaten the hare, but the turtle is still stuck somewhere back there trying to find himself. Problem is, he needs to ditch the shell.

PEACOCK appeared to be a sight for sore eyes. He strutted his stuff right, had the confidence, ambition, intelligence, and drive; it was all uber-attractive. Had it all together, right? Well, what I didn't realize is those beautiful feathers served as a trick to us unsuspecting females...they hide a lot of things. What appeared to be a life-in-order was only a front. The style, charm, and wit were only a mask for deep underlying wounds.

APE. What was I doing with an ape? Only slightly more booksmart than the peacock, but certainly with a shorter temper in a beat-his-chest for attention kind of way. This one was a lesson quickly learned.

CHAMELEON was a genius. I'm still in awe of how he could fit in under any circumstance. In
fact, I'm not sure I ever really knew who he was. My guess is that he's had so much practice blending in with so many different situations that he may have lost sight of his own essence. One thing to his credit- he's a master at observing people and figuring out their needs. I'm not exactly sure why the chemistry failed, but I know lizards like to bask in the heat of the sun. I think he may have been emerging from a colder time and getting prepared for a full-out sunbathing season. For him, I'd give an award for best-behaved. Cheers to you Chameleon!

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